Chapter 0189

Theodore was surrounded by books. He offered me a gentle smile as I dropped into the chair opposite him. His dark hair framed his face like a curtain. He swiftly tucked it behind his ear, his deep green eyes locking onto mine. “Everything alright?”

“Frustrated,” I mumbled.

“We both know if something was wrong with Zachary, you would have sensed it.”

“It’s not that.”

He tilted his head, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. “Really?”

“I just have this… bad feeling.”

“About what?”

“That’s the issue. I don’t actually know.”

“So you’re in a mood, but you don’t know the reason?”

“Exactly.” I slumped against the backrest, sighing. “Did you know Alexander asked Brianna to join the training session today?”

Theodore nodded slowly. “It was actually my suggestion.”

“Yours?” I sputtered, caught off guard.

“Look, she’s in the house constantly. Even though Athena has accepted her help with that other issue, she feels suffocated by Brianna’s presence. Alexander wants Athena to have some space. This seemed like the best solution.”

“So you’re sending her to training and telling her it’s to protect Athena.”

“We never said that.” He frowned at me. “Perhaps she misinterpreted the request.” He paused, thinking. “Maybe she made an assumption. Maybe she heard it wrong.”

He was probably right, though he sounded like he was trying to convince himself. Brianna had spent many nights telling me how grateful she was that Athena was finally speaking to her. Maybe she just misunderstood.

“You miss him?”

“Of course I do,” I muttered, surprised by his sudden question.

“I wasn’t talking about Zachary.”

No one had spoken to me about Julian. If I even mentioned his name in front of Alexander, he would either roll his crimson eyes or simply walk out. As far as he was concerned, our brother was dead. But I never stopped wondering. He was still my brother.

“He made his choice,” I sighed. I didn’t want Theodore to think otherwise.

He rocked gently in his chair, studying me intently.

“Do you know something? Has he contacted you? Does he regret leaving the pack?” The questions spilled out before I could stop them.

He shook his head, and my stomach dropped. For a brief moment, I had felt a flicker of hope—something to focus on besides being trapped here, waiting.

I wasn’t even sure what I was hoping for. Julian had made it perfectly clear that he blames Alexander for Sophia’s death. That wasn’t going to change.

Theodore went back to his books, unbothered by my presence. He was content with or without company. I never understood how he did it.

“Do you think you’ll ever find your mate?” I prodded, trying to keep the conversation going.

“Huh?” He didn’t even look up. I repeated the question. He just shrugged. “Who knows?”

“Don’t you wonder if they’re out there? Wondering where you are?”

“He won’t tell us,” Midnight mused, already predicting how this would end.

“No.” He closed his book slowly and met my gaze. “Not all of us see life the same way, Isabella.”

And that was the end of that conversation. I had tried so many times over the years to get information from him. It always ended the same. I didn’t even know if he preferred men, women, or both. He kept everything close to his chest. I didn’t even know if there was anyone in the pack he liked.

I fidgeted with my thumbs before finally pushing myself up to leave. As I reached the door, Theodore spoke again. He said he was sure Zachary would be back soon. As if he knew why I was really asking all those questions. A distraction from my own thoughts.

But what if something terrible happened? What if that control he has—the one stopping him from turning Rogue—shatters? What if he’s so enraged with Gabriel that I lose him forever?

I limped to the bottom of the staircase. Instead of climbing up, I sat on the steps. Waiting. Hoping. Willing him to walk right back through that front door.